As a momma that struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety, we co-slept. I realize that this is not for everyone, and that there is a lot of controversy on the subject.
For me, it was not only being able to get some much needed sleep, but it also helped keep some of my anxiety at bay. With R in bed with us; I was able to nurse him right away if he woke, I could calm the little phases of night terrors we went through, and I was able to make sure he was breathing. This was a huge thing for me. I, like all parents I’m sure, had the fear of SIDS. It was almost a paralyzing fear. So as much as I thought I would never co-sleep; I also thought I wouldn’t have PPD either.
I asked a few friends about their thoughts and struggles with co-sleeping:
💛When switching to T sleeping in his bed, there is more space, but I can’t sleep as well without him.
💛I always have them start out in their own beds. A big pro for me is that I can get close to a good night sleep. I can feed the baby and snooze. If I’m still awake when she is done feeding then I put her in the bassinet. A con is that when the baby starts to roll, they can roll out of bed. Another con is that your partner could roll over on them in the night.
💛I did co sleep for 4 months then after that no more. I wanted to have that time with my hubby again. Little kidos can wear on the hubby too. I have talked to other guys that say they miss their wives, but yet love their kidos. Co sleeping is great. But I’m selfish and want my room to be my oasis and break for me also. And a place where hubs and I can just be us no kidos. Even now the kids don’t bother us unless it’s an emergency lol. It’s usually our only spot to talk in quiet or just sit in silence, sorta!
💛I have a love/hate with co sleeping! I love that he’s next to me and when he’s not feeling well I can easily check on him causing my anxiety to go down. I love that when he wants a bottle or a fresh diaper I just have to roll over to give it to him. I love the snuggles. I hate not having my bed to my husband and myself. There’s not a lot of room to move while I’m asleep and I hate being woken to a head butt or kick! And I hate not being able to snuggle with my husband!!
💛We were told right off the bat that co sleeping is not recommended haha but we didn’t listen. I researched it a bunch because being a new parent I was clueless, and at the same time I did it out of necessity for me because I was sooo tired, so would let him nurse laying next to me so I could sleep- that was basically it. My husband loved him sleeping with us , even though I was super nervous at first because I thought I’d suffocate him 🙈🙈 I feel like he woke up way too often and he still wasn’t sleeping very well through the night at like 2-3 months, he would just use me as a pacifier and I couldn’t sleep and then my shoulder got all jacked up because of the weird position. But it turns out he wasn’t eating enough, he was always hungry, go figure. So once the doc talked to us about that and we started supplementing with formula then he literally slept like a baby. No one taught me anything about breastfeeding so I didnt drain each time to keep producing enough milk (but that’s a whole different story 🤷🏼♀️) he slept with us until end of last year when I finally started training him to sleep in his own bed, although he still gets up every once and a while and crawls in with us, which is fine. If it wasn’t for me sleep training him now though my husband would let him and even the babies sleep with us until they’re 18 😂🙈🙈 but I like my space and my sleep. lol I do think that co sleeping helped us bond more and made sure he was comfortable and loved. I think that when the twins get a little older and bigger they will probably sleep with us, and I’m ok with that because I want them to feel the same comfort that G felt with all of that. Obviously there are circumstances where a tragedy happens with co sleeping but I’m pretty sure the parents were just idiots and there’s a lot more to the stories than what we hear- like they were drinking and passed out on the kid. as a mom I’ve been way too paranoid from day one about waking up to every sound to make sure that all my kids are ok, and that’s just instinct. I never thought I’d be this person hahaha life is crazy.
I don’t feel there is a right or wrong answer to co-sleeping, but I hope that if you choose to co-sleep, that you take extra measures to be safe.